Medical Jokes

A patient has a sore throat and goes to a doctor to get treatment for it.

Doctor: Your tonsils got to come out.

Patient: I want second opinion.

Doctor: Okay, you're ugly, too.

A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.

The doctor exclaimed, "This is ridiculous! I don't even make that much as a doctor!." The plumber waited for him to finish and quietly said, "Neither did I when I was a doctor."

Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.

Doctor: Oh, really?

Mary: Yes, she tries to prevent me from making her take it!

A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds.

"Excuse me," he said, "have you lost something?"

"No," replied one of the doctors. "We're doing a heart transplant for an income-tax inspector and want to find a suitable stone."