Lawyer Jokes

There was a Russian a Cuban an American and a lawyer on a train. The Russian started the conversation with "Mother Russia has the best vodka ever and we have so much we can just throw it away." So the Russian throws a bottle out the window.

Then the Cuban speaks up "Cuba has the best cigars and we have so much we could throw them away." So the Cuban throws some cigars out the window. Well the American doesn’t say a single thing but gets up and walks over to the lawyer and throws him out the window.

One day a guy found a genie lamp and rubbed and POOF! the genie popped out. The genie said that he would give the guy three wishes but that he was a lawyer’s genie and whatever he got every lawyer got double.

First he wished for 10 million dollars POOF he has ten million dollars but every lawyer in the world gets 20 million.

Second he wishes few world peace POOf he has it. Every lawyer in the world gets Utopia.

Third and last he wished to donate a kidney. Every lawyer in the world donated both of there kidneys.

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea.

The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"

She said that she did.

He asked, "Does it hurt you?"

She said no.

The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant."

The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"

The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?