College Jokes

Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well
known mannequin-victim, Resusci Anne, to practice. My group's model was legless to allow for storage in a
carrying case.

The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked
"Are you all right?" He then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, "She said she can't feel her legs!"

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam.

He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death.

One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter.

After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."

There was a university in New England where the students operated a "bank" of term papers and other homework assignments. There were papers to suit all needs. Since it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade, B grade, and C grade.

One student, who had spent the weekend on more "extra-curricular pursuits," went to the bank, and as his course was a standard one he took out a paper for a inconspicuous C. He then retyped it and handed the work in.

In due course he received it back with the professor's comments.

"I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it was worth an A, and now I'm pleased to give it one