Criminal Jokes

While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11'3". They got out and measured their rig, which was 12'4".
"What do you think?" one asked the other.
The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. "Not a cop in sight. Let's take a chance!"

Doing 120 in a 65, he knew he was in trouble when the cop pulled in behind him with the roof lights on. Figuring he could just lose the cop he floored the Ferrari. 130, 140, 150 and still the cop was right on his tail. 170, 180, still could not ditch the cop. Giving up he pulled over.
The cop approached the car," Give me one damn good reason why I shouldn't give you the biggest ticket this world has ever seen"
"Well, he stated, " Just last week my wife ran off with a cop."
"SO WHAT!!!" the cop screamed.
"I thought you were trying to bring her back."

A man walks into the sheriff's office... "I want to become a deputy!"
"Good, I want to you to catch this man" says the sheriff handling the man a wanted poster.
The poster reads : 'Last seen wearing a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, and brown paper boots.'
"What's he wanted for?" asked the hopeful yound man.
"Rustling."

Once there was a police man and one day on duty he saw a man with a brick on a leash. Being the man that he was he went over and said to the man and said nice dog you got there.
The man replied, "it's not a dog its a brick dumb ass!"
The policeman said "I'm really sorry for wasting your time" feeling embarrassed and strolled away quickly.
When the policeman was out of site the man bent down and whispered to the brick: "Got him there didn't we Rover?