Birds Jokes
A duck walks into a convenient store and walks up the counter. The duck asks, "Got any grapes?" "No," said the puzzled store clerk. The duck smiles and walks out the door. A little while later the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?" The clerk replies, "No! Like I already told you 15 minutes ago, I don't have any grapes!" The duck smiles and walks out. A little while later the duck returns and again asks "Got any grapes?" The irate clerk yells, "No! We didn't have any, we don't have any, and were not going to have any. If you come back in here again I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!" The duck smiles and walks out. Later the duck returns and asks the clerk "Got any nails?" The clerk says "NO!" The duck replies, "Good! Got any grapes?"
A BlueJay applied for the receptionists job at the new AT&T headquarters. The interviewer, a bit non-plussed, told the Jay that the candidate had to be able to type at least 80 words per minute. The Jay demonstrated a 100 wpm talent! Not wanting to hire a BIRD for the job, the interviewer told the Jay that the candidate had to be able to take dictation. The Jay surpassed all other candidates. Finally the interviewer thought he'd be able to get rid of the Jay with "the candidate must be bilingual!" The Jay replied "Meow!!"
Judge: young man, it says here you shot and killed a Califorina Condor. How do you plead?
Defendant: Guilty your honor.
Judge: GUILTY!? Don't you know how endangered these condors are? There are hardly any left at all.
Defendant: Yes sir, I know, but I had to feed my family, we're so poor.
Judge: That's no excuse. I fine you 30 days in jail. By the way, what does California Condor taste like?
Defendant: It's real good, kinda like a cross between Bald Eagle and Whooping Crane!
